​

Religion and faith can become the rock a survivor clings to amidst trauma that feels like a storm. Religion and faith can also be a force that prolongs their trauma. We want to support faith-based organizations like schools, churches, temples, mosques, chapels, and spiritual centers alike in their pursuit to care for their community during vulnerable times in their lives.  

 

Our team consists of individuals who are experts within the specific field of sexual assault and harassment prevention, trauma-informed care, and options available to survivors. We are not experts in faith, but we are excited to find opportunities to collaborate with our religious communities and cultural centers. Our goal is to make this world a better place, and we know we can’t do it alone. Please give us a call at 909-623-1619 to inquire about our educational courses and collaboration possibilities. Below, we have some first steps your center can take to create a welcoming space for survivors and their support people.  

1. Require a livescan for volunteers working with minors.  

• 1 in 6 girls and 1 in 10 boys experience some form of sexual violence before they turn 18. Perpetrators are typically someone the child knows well and over the age of 18 years old. To protect the children within your center, it may be important to have volunteer teachers, coaches, and spiritual leaders submit a Live Scan before they work with our youth. A Live Scan is a process where a person’s fingerprints are scanned and submitted to the Department of Justice for a background check. Applicants will typically complete a live scan at their local law enforcement office or DMV with an appointment. A Live Scan typically costs anywhere from $32-75, but can be waived at the discretion of the police department/ sheriff's department they are using.  

• Asking existing volunteers to submit a Live Scan every 2-5 years can ensure that the people we trust with our children can continue to be trusted.  

 

2. Employee Workplace Protocols

It is important to have a clear protocol that is practiced with employees regularly. Reporting protocols, guidelines for appropriate behavior, and clear investigation/ punitive tiers can help survivors speak up if they’ve been victimized. Clear rules and expectations deter sexual harassment and violence in the workplace by putting accountability on a perpetrator to avoid harmful behaviors with coworkers.  

In addition to annual anti-sexual harassment training required by the state, Project Sister Family Services can offer an in-person presentation to outline expectations. We are experts at navigating uncomfortable conversations and can be an asset when bringing up this topic with employees. After the presentation, we are happy to host a one-time walk-in services for employees to ask questions about specific situations, obtain additional information, and receive short-term emotional counseling.  

• Prevention occurs more than just once a year, and the more it is discussed, the stronger an agency’s anti-harassment and anti-assault culture becomes. During off seasons where this training isn’t required, agencies can practice safety information by:  

  • Offering incentives for recalling protocol. Ex. Give employees the chance to enter an opportunity drawing to win a gift card, an early release day, or agency swag. A drawing can be earned by correctly reciting company protocol for reporting harassment, safety measures, etc.  

  • Review anti-harassment protocols during weekly or monthly meetings. Reviewing this protocol when an incident hasn’t occurred increases your agency’s prevention strategy and reduces the likelihood of an incident occurring in the future.  

  • Check-in with team members on an individual basis and ask them if they feel safe and comfortable in the workplace. Offer employees an opportunity to express concerns in a nonjudgemental space. If a concern does arise, refer back to the protocol and let your employee know the agency’s next actionable steps and when you plan on speaking with them again.  

Need more suggestions? Does your center have a unique dynamic or culture? Please give us a call to further brainstorm and see how we can help you at 909-623-1619! 

​

​3. If someone comes forward, believe the survivor. 

False reports of sexual assault are rare. When someone tells you that they have been sexually assaulted or raped, it is likely that they are telling you the truth. Avoid doing your own investigation or questioning their story. They may just need your for emotional support.  

You may be shocked to learn who the perpetrator was. You may want to ask, “Are you sure [name] did that to you?” It is normal to have questions, but it is important to ask them with care. 

Please do:  

• Get permission before asking questions. When the survivor is done sharing, ask if they are okay with you asking questions. If they’re uncomfortable answering questions, don’t push for an answer. Adults have the right to report or not report their crime, and it is important that you are supportive of your parent’s decision.  

• Respect what they choose to share. As a supportive person, it can be traumatizing to learn every detail of their assault. Forcing or pressuring a survivor to share what happened can be traumatizing and embarrassing. It can also bring feelings of guilt and shame. You can absolutely support your parent without knowing every detail of the crime.  

• Ask how you can support them. You can ask, “Is there anything you need from me?” or “How can I support you?” For adults, encouraging healthy coping skills will be the best outlet. Therapy, new hobbies, and routine check-ins will help the survivor know that you care. If they live on their own, it may be helpful to offer to help install locks on their bedroom doors or to help mount a security doorbell camera.  

Please Avoid:  

• Avoid “what if” and “are you sure” questions. The survivor knows what happened to them. They lived through it. Questions like these may make them feel like you do not believe them. This can hurt the trust between you and create healing roadblocks. Healing roadblocks prolongs their trauma and pain.  

• Avoid sharing your parent's assault story with community members who are not involved. Sharing details with community members who are removed from this assault can embarrass and isolate the survivor. Sharing this story without their permission can create immense barriers to healing and potentially jeopardize their criminal or civil case. Allow the survivor to share their story with others on their terms. Encourage involved family members to keep your parent's story private.  

• Avoid dictating what they should do next. Each survivor has the right to choose what happens next. They may choose to report the abuse, pursue a restraining order, speak with a counselor. They also have the choice to take no action at all. 

Their body, their story, and their choices belong to them. 

Spending time with friends, relatives, and loved ones who are supportive are great ways for a survivor to cope with traumatic events. Being with loved ones reduces feelings of isolation, stress, and fear for most survivors.

 

​4. Reflect on your organization's message to attendees and the community. 

Survivors who struggle with religion after an assault may have the following common thoughts:  

• Why did my creator allow this to happen to me? I was supposed to be protected.  

• I am not pure for marriage anymore.  

• Men often feel emasculated and ashamed for a lack of power. They may believe they are or will be a poor husband after an assault.  

• Women often feel dirty and damaged. Many religions place immense pressure on women to remain a virgin until marriage. Even an assault against their will may be viewed as “sex” instead of what it really is, a crime.  

• Even though I was assaulted against my will, people believe I cheated on my spouse.  

• Did my creator put the perpetrator in my life to abuse me?  

 

When speaking to your community during gatherings and sermons, do your teachings place weight on sexual purity? Do your teachings place responsibility on a perpetrator’s shoulder’s or the victim’s? It is important to evaluate how you can teach to your community while caring for those who have been impacted by violence.  

 

At the root of all faiths is a desire to show one another of the love they deserve by our creator. All faiths desire to positively impact the lives of the living, and likely their afterlives as well. While the school of thought and theology used by your faith may, or may not, impact how this message is shared with your community, we want to share in your mission to love and care for our communities of faith. There is a way to protect the most vulnerable while upholding the pillars of truth that your denomination finds true. 

​

PSFS would love to set up an introductory meeting with you and the members of your team. Please give us a call at (909) 623-1619.